Twin Flame Research, Part Three: Results and Conclusions
Hey there! Thanks for coming along for my journey with this crazy non-scientific research! We have reached the final chapter, and its a long one! Grab a cup of coffee and a scone and take your time reading through the response results of my survey and my impressions of my Akashic Readings!
Here we go!
Pardon my lack of creativity in this last blog, however, I thought it may be interesting for you to get a taste of how my survey participants answered some of the 22 open ended questions. I feel like there are some nice clusters of similarities. Here are some of the highlights:
Q1. When did you meet your twin flame?
I asked this to see if there were clusters of time frames that souls were meeting each other--Nope. The earliest was 1989 and the most recent was February of 2017.
Q2. Gut impression of you TF when you met:
“I recognized him, I sensed his soul,” “I didn't think he liked me,” “I felt I would know him deeply,” “this is someone special, someone I knew I had been looking for,” “I am going to marry him,” “When I looked into his eyes, I could watch his soul,” “familiar, like our energies matched,” “Fe felt familiar,” “a magnetism,” “like we have known each other a long time,” “deep connection, like we have known each other before,” “intrigue,” “like an intense attraction,” “instantly drawn to him,” “a depth to her I have never seen before”
Q4. Did you get into a romantic relationship:
25 out of 29 responses did.
Q5. Are you still in the relationship:
22 were. (Nine of those specifically stated that they were married, although I didn't ask that, so maybe more of them are)
Q6: Whats been the hardest part:
“Brought out the most vulnerable pieces of each other that needed healing,” “emotions,” “getting to the same level of authentic communication,” “most of it is,” “facing the rawness of life, owning our decisions, the ups and downs,” “communication,” “we had a lot of hardships, but its made us stronger,” “we are the same yet go different ways about it,” “mirroring, understanding that the purpose is to heal and awaken,” “communication, we are sensitive” “compromise,” “day to day life stuff,” “readiness, communication, showing up,” “butting heads,” “feeling its not working but knowing it was where I was supposed to be,” “I couldn't read him”
Q8: Did you seek help from outside sources (included family and friends):
27 of 29 did. Participants were allowed to check all that applied. 48.15% sought intuitive/spiritual or psychic help, 33.33% sought counseling, 37.04% friends, 29.63% asked family, 44.44% responded in the “other” category, many of them stating they knew they needed to work it out on their own or within themselves.
Q9: What was the feedback from family and friends?
27 answered the question. 12 reported positive or encouraging feedback, 12 reported mixed feelings such as “at first didn't understand it, but now they see,” the other few answers were not qualifiable.
Q10: What was the professional feedback?
13 answered. “helpful to an extent, but we had to find our way to ourselves,” “helpful,” “was told-he can't do it, too many issues/complexes,” “was told- that he does not communicate,” “was told-he wasn't meeting my needs,” “they said he should go away and set me free, but we don't want that,” “it's past life stuff,” “we need to communicate without judging,” “move on, he is not coming back,” “could see our love but couldn't understand why we couldn't make it work.”
Q13: Are you the runner or chaser?
29 answered, 24.14% said Chaser, 20.69% said Runner, 27.59% didn't know. And 27.59% answered in the “other” stating some version of “both”.
Q14. Why did the Chasers chase?
“simply had faith in the process,” “had ability to envision things, including our life together,” “knew we were meant to be,” “just knew this was right,” “nothing else fit,” “something special here,” “the chaser is more spiritually evolved,” “too special not to chase,” “I loved him,” “the feeling was so strong and life always brought us back together,” “just felt the connection, had to pursue it,” “the chaser was the beacon of light for my/our depths, for the authenticity of us”
Note: I think the "chaser" is a hard position to describe. There is high potential of sounding like someone “who just won't let go,” riding on the brink of being seen as “addicted” to love. The main theme in the responses here can only be described as a "feeling, a faith, a knowing"... and if you are like me, I have thought I “knew” things in other relationships that didn't turn out to be so! It seems as if there was something that kept them continuing to find the faith to keep at it, even if the other person wasn't so sure.
Q15. Why did the Runner run?
“too much going on emotionally, I was completely overloaded and my sense of reality was distorted,” “wouldn't give into the relationship, but finally did,” “fear, self-judgment, ego,” “he doesn't now himself and someone trying to know him deeply was threatening,” “the runner runs because they need to be the catalyst for awakening,” “not loving myself enough,” “was scared, and outside influences affected him,” “too scared to face what is bringing up the feelings,” “overwhelming,” “ run in stressful situations,” “overwhelmed, energy was too immense,” “fear from the past and of making life changes,” “it was more like escapism behavior when I am overwhelmed, pressure became too much and the weight of the responsibility and constant demand,” “because it was hard, I was scared, I wasn't feeling in those times the positive was outweighing the negative,” “panic”
Note: I particularly love the insight here on the “runner.” I love that not one answer suggested that a person “ran” from the relationship because of the other person. Each response suggested the runner ran because of something stirring within themselves. There is no blame here, and I really appreciate the insight and ownership! I am also noting how many times “overwhelmed” came up I the responses, making me curious if the “runner” may also be the person who is more emotionally or energetically sensitive... or if the “chaser” is the person who has more skills or tools in dealing with emotional stuff?
Q18: Did you feel you received the support you needed?
8 yes, 8 no, 7 not sure, others “n/a”
Q19: What advice would you give other TF's:
“be open minded, put your energy into your heart, it won't always make logical sense, be ready for a bumpy road, this will bring out the ugliest parts of your soul while illuminating the most beautiful parts too, you must be ready to accept all parts, this is a healing process,” “be calm,” “therapy,” “be patient and talk,” “hold on and enjoy,” “unlearn everything society taught you and build the relationship that feels right for you, know you are evolving, celebrate the steps along the way,” “have faith,” “work on your internal blocks, learn to be whole and happy as an individual,” “let go of expectation, enjoy the blessing that this is,” “meditate, take care of yourself mind, body and spirit, follow your heart, just let things be,” “1. acceptance, 2. forgiveness, 3. unconditional love,” “work hard and reap the benefits,” “its about spiritual growth and healing, not earthly labels or ideas, don't compare yourself to others, each path is unique,” “be patient, communicate with respect and open heart,” “have courage to go deep within and support each other as you do” “keep talking,” “it's hard but worth it, its a life long journey of being a teacher and a student together,” “don't be hasty, nothing comes easy, even when it is meant to be,” “relax into love, trust, this is your counterpart,” “inner work is very important for a harmonious relationship,” “it's going to be intense, it can be infuriating, whether you stay together or not, the time spent will change your soul,” “keep and open mind,” “give each other the space you need,” “if you are committed to each other and both committed to making the relationship work, it will be grand,” “talk to each other.”
Note: I don't know about you, but I think that is all really good advice. Twin Flames or not, what beautiful perspectives on relationships! Thank you Twin Flame Research Participants!!
Going about the Akashic Readings
Now, onto my super subjective account of the 17 Akashic Readings I completed as part of my “Can I feel something here that would signal that it is a Twin Flame, that is, is this two parts of the same soul?”!
And the short answer is: No, I couldn't feel that. I wasn't told that these were “twin flames” or “same soul” or anything like that.
BUT, I did sense some cool stuff!
So, firstly, it became really clear that my two questions “why did they unite” and “what are they uniting to do” ended up being the exact same question. When I crafted the question, I was curious if there was some clear and specific contribution to the world that the Twin Flames are doing together like “open a business” or “write a book”... but it quickly became clear to me that the reason the two people came together was the same answer as what they were here to do, which in essence is to support each other's growth in some way.
I should mention that I did the readings as “blindly” as I could. I did not know how each reading participant answered the survey questions. Some reading participants told me they were married. I could tell other information about the relationship due to my super keen sense of deduction (aka how they asked their questions). Some participants did not ask additional questions and I was left with just the two questions I crafted. Because of this, I was really happy that I offered the participants the option to ask extra questions for my reading. Their questions helped me gather more information, and they unknowingly helped me out a lot. For some readings, the additional questions helped me focus in on the energy of the reading, which I will fully admit helped my ego. The ones who didn't have any additional questions challenged me to take one huge flying leap int the deep abyss of unknowns with n'er a net to catch me. They all worked out okay in the end, I would say!
What I gathered was my participants fell into one of two categories:
A. Couples who are not currently together and/or really needing to focus on self and/or in the “working through stuff” phase.
B. These couples worked through the stuff and are now supporting each other in a really great way and so now their energies are working in tandem with each other.
For me as an intuitive, much of my information comes clairvoyantly, meaning I see images in my mind's eye. Sometimes with the Akashic Records, information just flows out of me as if I am just making up a story, but somehow the story makes sense to the person I am reading. These readings proved to come through in both of these ways.
So for those who fell into category A, the records said so in almost a direct way. In some readings, I received the information as “focus on your own care” or “look at how you use your own energy” and one that felt more like “you are solid, but your TF is leaning on you, there is work to be done here”... or “this person came into your life to help bring stuff up for you to look at, it's time to stay focused here in the moment, instead of what will happen in the future”... to “your energy is focused on your TF instead of yourself, bring your energy back to you.”
For those who fell into the category B, I often got goosebumps from head to toe as I described the ways that their energies worked in tandem with each other. Goosebumps are usually my sign of confirmation, or sometimes happen when the information is deep, moving, and emotional. I would say I experienced the category B relationships as really beautiful.
Some of that language and imagery was: “two bouncing balls on a trampoline, one bounces down so the other can bounce up”... “two pieces of a puzzle coming together”.. “one lifts the energy up, the other keeps things grounded”... “two different shapes, where one is wide, the other is tall, making the union have all dimensions”... “one goes horizontal, one projects up, as if one is behind the scenes and the other is front stage, equally as important roles,” … “two similar energies joining together, holding hands so that their reach is much broader” … “a yin and yang colored red and blue where together they meet and make purple”... “a tether of energy forms between them where they have full range of motion to do their own thing, but always an energy tie that keeps them connected” and finally “one agreeing to hold space, so the other can dance, like how a male dancer steps off to the side to help showcase the main ballerina.” These imageries and sensations felt like, to me, the truest form of partnership, both supportive and encouraging towards each other.
All of the relationships felt important, significant, and purposeful, to me. The ones that gave me goosebumps read to me as ones who have really found a grove together and are working within a union that supports the individual as well as the couple. All of the relationships felt valid, so I want to make it clear, I didn't experience one was better than the other, more that they were in different stages.
I have had a handful of the reading participants responding back to their readings that the information made sense all the way to, “oh my god this was awesome!” So I am feeling secure that my readings were sound and my impressions were accurate. Yay!
The “Oh shoot, I wish I...” Recap
Like any good research, I can honestly say my investigations have left me with more questions than it did answers! I am happy to deem this a “pilot” study, which has given me many more ways to hone in on this Twin Flame thing.
From my academic days, I know a research paper always include a “limitations” section, which is essentially where the researcher admits to all the things that didn't go well, flaws in the research, or that they could do differently next time. I will call this the “Oh shoot, I wish I..” recap.
Oh shoot, I wish I...
Asked for participants genders
Asked for participants ages
Asked for location in the world of the participant
Asked how the participants found me
Asked that the TF also filled out a survey
Asked each of my Akashic Readings to confirm whether they were still together or not and if they were married or not, as I wonder if some of the cool merging energy was because there was a marriage?
Had a live in-person interview with each participant to gain more insight into their short answers
Asked less questions on my 22 question survey, some of my questions ended up being meaningless to me in the grand scheme
Got more men to respond, it does appear I had almost all women respondents
Was able to compare this “twin flame” study to a “soul mates” study
Was able to find relationships that did not categorize themselves as either twin flames, or soul mates (I mean, if that is such a thing? I kind of think all romantic relationships are soul connected somehow...)
Got “regular folk” to participate and make it a bigger study just on relationships, “regular folk,” as in people not spiritually minded, per se. I would imagine I would still sense similar dynamics even in relationships people wouldn't call spiritual.
My beliefs as of right now after completing this project:
I am not fully convinced that “Twin Flames” are a thing... at least, not in the way that a relationship either is one or isn't one.
I believe that every one we meet and everyone we have a relationship with is soul connected, soul contracted, and comes into our lives for the purposes of helping us grow and learn-- how far we get in that process within one relationship, I think, depends on our soul's path. My soul in particular did not decide to learn everything from having just one relationship in my life, I have had several. Each one has taught me and have helped lead me to my husband, where I have done some solid soul-level work and evolution.
I do believe that some relationships, depending on the readiness, will find themselves in situations or relationships that really encourage them to grow through a great deal of challenges. I think these relationships help shed continual layers of “humanness” in order to come back to their most authentic soul version selfs. I do believe the souls in this process are likely intended to make important contributions to humankind as part of their soul missions.
I am definitely dissatisfied with the options of Soul Mate or Twin Flame as ways to describe our soulful romantic relationships and now feel like there are more like a continuum in which relationships may fall on.
I am dissatisfied with the romantification of the Twin Flame relationship. When I hear people looking for their Twin Flame, I secretly say in my head “Are you sure?? It's really hard work.” I think I would feel differently if I heard people saying “Oh boy, I am really ready to do a huge piece of work on myself. I am so ready for a relationship that is going to help me bring stuff right up to the surface so I can heal it.” I could get on board with someone asking for that!
I do believe, however, the title “Twin Flame” has provided a means to talk about a certain type of relationship, and therefore I will continue to use the title as a way to name a relationship dynamic that has some commonalities. Just like as a therapist, I might use a diagnosis of “generalized anxiety disorder” to talk about a common cluster of symptoms, but not all people who have anxiety are alike. The label is just a easier means to talk about some general commonalities.
What I really feel is this: I feel like there are levels, or maybe even phases of relationship advancement. At this time, my continuum would look something like this:
Shadow Relationships/Shadow Phase: Relationship dynamics that bring up the “worst” in you, these dynamics help you see your own icky places that maybe you wouldn't have looked at in any other way. I think I would also consider unhealthy or abusive relationships here, as they are a means to show us our shadow sides.
Mirror Relationships/ Mirror Phase: Relationship dynamics where the other person is mirroring back to you a place where you have an opportunity to grow, or maybe outgrown an old way of being... and maybe this is where happy dynamics live too, after all, a relationships could mirror good things to each other!
Reflection Phase: The place where you health-fully detach from what your partner is doing, and focus on seeing what is being reflected to you and about you, and then you do your own work, thereby doing self-reflection and self-growth.
Merging Phase/ Merging Souls: This dynamic would be what my twin flame google search called “blissful.” This is the place where two people have done the work on phases one through three and have become clear enough to experience deep, soul-level joy with each other. Should problems arise, the two find that they easily and lovingly see each others points of view and there is little or no ego battle over being right. The readings I did which gave me goosebumps would be in this category. I would also say this is where my marriage is now. We have gone through the shadows, the mirrors, and the reflections, and now we are able to work through things easily, lovingly, and a merging way.
Phew! So, there ya have it! A weirdo, unscientific exploration of Twin Flames, kinda placed within a researchy kind of write up. So now, I shared mine, you share yours! What are your thoughts? Opinions? Ideas for additional questions? Who knows, maybe I will be moved to do another study, and your input could be so valuable!
Give me a shout out in the comments below or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org!
And for those of you who are curious, heck ya, I will do an Akashic Reading for you! Would be happy to! Check out my website for more on that :)